Inspired
I read an article in the paper recently about whether or not to take vending machines out of schools. There were surprisingly more vending machine defenders than opposers, it seemed. The main argument was that children need to learn to make good choices. Funny, I thought children needed to be taught by example to make good choices.You know, when I was growing up, I can remember many a Saturday when my mother threw us all outside and refused to let us in for anything other than a drink or the restroom. We had to play outside. We weren't allowed to watch TV for 8 hours on a Saturday. She never bought chips, candy, or pop. Our snacks weren't always perfectly healthy, but they sure weren't processed. We weren't allowed TVs in our bedrooms, and the only way we got away with spending a day holed up indoors was if we were reading a book.We were all required to join sports. Not forced to continue, but required to give it a try.
Guess what? I wasn't overweight. Was I jealous of my friends with TVs in their bedrooms and potato chips after school? Of course. I felt totally deprived, but my mother knew that her primary job was to make healthy decisions for her children, whether they liked it or not.
To this day, I don't really drink pop or keep junk food in my home. I'm not in the habit of doing so. And when I have children, I'll kick them out for hours at a time like my mother did. I'll make them try out the swim team, the soccer team, the basketball team, the volleyball team, jazz, ballet and martial arts like we did. I'll make them complete a full season, and then if they don't like it, they don't have to participate next year. If they're like me and my brothers, though, they'll continue participating in sports all through their childhood.
I understand that fat kids aren't all due to poor parenting. I know that there are plenty of fat kids, like my little brother, who was raised by parents who made good choices for their children. So, I'm not condemning fat kids. I am saying that I think it's important for children to be parented, and not placated. I'm sure that my mother felt awful when we threw fits and told her we hated her for making us do stuff; fortunately for us, she didn't give in.
Mom: "Okay, you can watch that movie tonight, but you have to play outside until it starts."
Us: "Mom, that's in five hours. What are we supposed to do for five hours outside?"
Mom: "I don't know. Find something."
Us: "But MOM I want to play Super Mario Brothers!"
Door closing in our faces.
An hour later.
Us: "We have to go to the bathroom and we're thirsty."
Door opens.
Mom: "Okay, would you like water or water?"
Us: "We'd like pop."
Mom: "We don't have pop."
Us: "Okay, Kool Ade."
Mom: "No, it's water or water."
Us: "But MOM we don't like water!"
Mom: "Then go thirsty."
Us: "Fine, we'll have water. We're hungry, too."
Mom: "What would you like?"
Us: "Nacho Doritos."
Mom: "No. How about an apple?"
Us: "How about a cookie?"
Mom: "How about you don't eat until dinner?"
Us: "Fine, a glass of water and an apple. You're the meanest mom we know."
Several hours later.
Mom: "Come on in, dinner's ready!"
Us: "Yay!"
Dinner gets eaten.
Us: "Can we have seconds?"
Mom: "If you're still hungry in half an hour you can have another plate. Why don't you go watch that movie you wanted to see?"
Us: "What's for dessert?"
Mom: "Ask me on Sunday, because we only have dessert on Sunday."
Us: "We hate you. You're mean!"
Mom: "Then find another mom."
The next morning.
Mom: "Who wants breakfast?"
Us: "We do, we do! Cereal and chocolate milk, please!"
Mom brings out her one indulgence, sugary cereal, and glasses of chocolatey milk.
Us: "This isn't chocolate milk, this is Ovaltine!"
Mom has a poem hanging on the wall in her kitchen that I think sums this parenting style up pretty well. It is "How To Be A Mean Mother":
A mean mother never allows candy or snacks to take the place of a well balanced meal.
A mean mother insists on knowing where her children are at all times, who their friends are and what they do.
A mean mother breaks the child labor law by making her children work..
Washing dishes, making beds, learning to cook, and doing other cruel and unpleasant chores.
A mean mother makes life miserable for her offspring by insisting that they always tell thetruth. A mean mother produces teenagers who are wiser and more sensible.
A mean mother can smile with secret delight and pride when she hears her own grandchildren call their parents "mean".
What the world needs now, are more mean mothers.. and fathers!...
posted by Jen @ 1/23/2006 08:10:00 AM
3 Comments:
Your mother sounds awesome!
Yeah, I pretty much admire her more than any woman I've ever met. She's my inspiration.
I couldn't agree with you more!
I was raised in the time of "play outside till teh street lights come on" too. My mil doesn't understand this at all, and has never heard of it. we only got to eat junk as a treat, when as a family, we watched the hockey game, and if we didn't want to watch, we didn't get treats. I ate a lot ofapples and such, much milk (blech) and water. The only pop in the house was for my dad (diabetic) and it was always sugarfree. we didn't have freezies on hot days like my cool friends, just boring ol' frozen juice pops. and my backyard was my world. I had to check in with mom every 15mins, wasn't allowed to generally play in friends houses (this made my parents really uncomfortable) and my sister and I were to be both invited somehwere or neither of us could go.
I agree with you Jen, but I think it might be a little idealistic of you to raise your kids this way as well. I too had planned on it, but when you have other mothers jumping all over you, not letting your kids play with theirs because of what they would call a lacsidaisical attitude, true boredom outside because all the other moms are afraid of perverts (with just cause unfortunately) to let their kids outdoors so your kids would have nothing to do, parks are becoming non-existent, and when their are kids without their mom or dad their, they are sadly, too often doing drugs or having sex or some other things they shouldn't be doing. We're forcing our kids into sports so they get some kind of exercize nowadays, and with all the junk they are too often consuming, it is still a battle for them to remain fit.
I really do agree with you, I think we were the better for the way we were raised. I was a very thin (almost sick looking) child, I was respectful and fearful of adults, I always called them by their last name and/or title (dr. so and so) not Hi there Neil, hi Heather, hi John, Hi Stephanie. I find this rude to no end. My MIL yet again would differ, she loved being simply called: M's mom! imagine?
I'm considered by most to be archaic and strange. My daughter had no friends incidentally in kindergarten because the cliquey moms claimed they didn't know me, so their kids were not allowed to play with mine. They all were part of the same book club or whatsit, so their friendships allowed their kids to be firends....I still find this freaky, and to this day, my daughter has a few close friends as a result, and yeah, other than her ballet classmates (who do know me) they are a little weird, generally religious, and mild mannered....I think the world needs more of that, don't you?
***sorry to take up so much space, you just hit a topic I actually am frustrated with a lot of the time myself****
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