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Random Old Faces

During a recent night out with some of my girlfriends, I ran into someone I haven't seen in a long, long time. This particular person was someone that I'd had a heck of a falling out with in college, and someone I never thought I'd see again. It was my old roommate, Nancy (this is a fake name, but is a person who some of you will know, and will know why it is so interesting that I ran into her). Nancy and I lived together for two years in college, and she treated me pretty poorly. She was the type of person you end up walking on eggshells around because the most mundane, random things will turn her into a raging bitchy lunatic. At the end of our first semester of senior year, my other roommate and I got together and decided we couldn't take living with her anymore. We kicked her out after finals of the fall semester, and when she left she trashed our place. I ran into her a couple times after that, and things were fine. We had a long talk and exchanged numbers, but when it became obvious that she was trying to renew the friendship, I began to ignore her phone calls. When we talked, I had been very clear that things were cool, but I wasn't interested in being friends again. She is a toxic person, and I didn't want her in my life.

A year or so after I last spoke to her, I ran into her ex-boyfriend at Blockbuster. She had dated and screwed over this guy while we were roommates. I had always thought he was such a great guy, so I started hanging out with him. That person is...can you guess?...Shanshu.

It's been four years since my last encounter with Nancy. I went to an old friend's record release party at a jazz club a couple of nights ago, and Nancy was there. For the few interested parties, here is an update: professionally, she seems to be doing pretty well. She's in grad school for hospital management, and is currently working at KU Med in research. Socially, though, she seems as messed up as ever. Apparently she doesn't really speak to her family much anymore. She said to me, "This last year has been so awful. You have no idea." I didn't press for details, because I wasn't interested in the drama. She has been married, but is no longer. Again, I didn't press for details. Being married and divorced/annulled/whatever within the span of four years is more drama that I'm not interested in. She had that very day, unluckily, moved into a new home about four blocks from where Shan and I live. I have my fingers crossed that we won't run into her at the local grocery store or something.

The one positive thing that came from that conversation was the apology and taking of responsibility I felt I deserved from her. She admitted, quite uncharacteristically, that she had indeed been a bitch, her behaviors during our time living together were inexcusable, and she was sorry. I suppose everyone grows up at some point, and while I don't really care anymore I was glad to hear it. She also apologized to Shanshu through me. She admitted that she had "fucked up" with him and that he didn't deserve to be treated the way he had. When I later told Shan, however, it was obvious he could give a rat's behind about her at all. Nancy had heard through the grapevine that I was dating Shan, and told me that she thinks this is wonderful. She said that we always had a connection that she could see, and that we were both nice people who deserved each other.

I have to say, this conversation was well done on her part. I still have no interest in her, and maybe a little part of me still wanted to see her fallen on her face. But I'm glad that she's grown up a little, and I'm glad that she has begun to recognize the toxic parts of herself. Hopefully in the future the drama will cease to exist and she'll find happiness.

posted by Jen @ 12/30/2005 02:39:00 PM