Smoking
Two months since quitting smoking. Still not interested in cigarettes. How did I get so lucky? I've heard horror stories of quitting smoking. I've heard it's probably the most difficult addiction to conquer. So how is it that I've had smoothe sailing? I haven't even WANTED a cigarette (that is, I haven't wanted a cigarette while sober). Even when I'm drinking I rarely want a cigarette. I guess I was just ready. Or was it that I never really smoked much anyway?I guess if you had the habit of putting a smoke in your mouth 20 times a day, it would be more difficult than if you had only smoked a couple of times a day. I've never been able to do that without getting sick. Maybe that's what's making it so easy...I don't think my body every really got used to smoking. The first time I had a cigarette, it was in the backseat of my friend Jen's car, in high school. She was driving and my boyfriend at the time was riding shotgun. They both smoked, and I smoked too. You know, to be cool. Ah, the teenage mind. I became really ill after I smoked it. It took a good 30 minutes for the dizziness and nausea to go away. Of course, the whole time I wasn't letting on that I was about to spew.
I definitely became addicted. If I didn't smoke, my lungs would get this funny, uncomfortable feeling that my mind told me could only be cured by a cigarette. If I didn't have one, sometimes it would go away and sometimes it would get worse. I never really could smoke very often, though. I'd get sick off it if I smoked in the morning. Sometimes if I smoked too much I'd go a day or two without smoking, because the thought of it would gross me out. I never really craved cigarettes during the day too much. I'd have the occasional smoke at lunchtime (maybe once a week), but otherwise I only wanted to smoke in the evenings. And then, it was usually two smokes. Four if I was going crazy. Any more than that, and they'd make me sick. So, for the entirety of my life as a smoker, I never moved up in quantity like most people. Don't get me wrong...like everyone else, I could go through a whole pack while drinking.
So I probably shouldn't be too surprised how easily I just stopped one day. I suppose my brain was smarter than me the whole time, and never really wanted to smoke.
posted by Jen @ 3/04/2006 12:24:00 PM
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