Get With The Program, Uterus!
The female human biological clock is outdated. It inhibits procreation for modern human females and needs to be reset.
Human females are physically at peak child-bearing age in their late teens and very early twenties; that is, around ages 15-22. During this time, it is very easy to get pregnant and very easy to bear children. Our bodies bounce back faster; the weight comes off, there are less complications, and less chance of scarring. Unfortunately for us, mentally and societally we are not ready to be mothers at this age. Most 15-22 year olds are too immature to care for and provide for children. Most of them are also still in school, and have not yet started the experiences which will grow them into adulthood: college, a real job, living out from under the assistance of their parents. Back when the biological clock was set, a 15 year old could reasonably expect to be married and provided for by this age. These days, a 15 year old is still 6-15 years away from being married and cannot expect that she will ever be provided for.
Even during the off-peak but still safe time for having children, the human female is in most circumstances unable to do so. This time period is from about 22-30. Most women marry at about 24-26. This is the reasonable beginning point for considering children, and most are unwilling to have children until this happens. A lot of women, however, are expected to establish a career that makes them financially able to have children before they do so. A lot of women expect/ are expected to purchase a home before having children. By the time a woman gets married at 25, reaches a success level at work after college by about 27-28, and saves enough to purchase a home, she could be 30 years old. That is pushing it in terms of biological clock.
By age 28-30, the average age of a college-educated woman to bear her first child, things have really started to slow down. She’s not as fertile, and physically not as able to carry a child. The body at this point, because of the biological clock, is starting to think, “Well, we’ve missed our opportunity and I guess we’re not going to have a child.” Pregnancy complications start to become a reality, because of age. And think of if she wants to have multiple children! If she has her first child at 29 and one child every two years until she has three children, then her third child isn’t born until 34. That is, if she can even manage to get pregnant when she wants to at that age! At 34 we’re talking very high risk for genetic deformity and the pregnancy being fairly dangerous.
What if a woman has waited to begin her family until later, because she didn’t meet her husband until later due to trying to establish a career, or because she went to grad school? What if she doesn’t start her family until 30 or 32? I mean, this age is very young relative to how long people live, but from a biological clock standpoint she’s late, middle-aged.
Reform is obviously needed. The biological clock needs to be reset because of the changes in society that have occurred. I propose that peak fertility and ability to carry a child be changed from 15-22 to 25-30. I further propose that it is no longer a “danger zone” to bear a child after 30. I propose that high risk does not set in at 34, but at 40. In this way, our biological clocks will no longer be out of sync from what we and society expect of ourselves.
Groping and the stupid Feds
So recently a friend of mine had a yucky experience on an airplane. A man sitting behind her groped her during a flight. She freaked out, called over the flight attendant, and started yelling at the guy that he was a pervert. He started apologizing, and the flight attendant moved her.
She later learned that the flight crew was supposed to have called ahead and had the police meet the plane, because this constitutes sexual assault and he would have been arrested. As it happens, they didn't, and she had to have the airline call the police once they arrived and she deboarded the plane.
The police handed it over to the FBI, since it's federal if it happens in the air on a plane. The FBI turned it over to the local U.S. Attorney, who declined prosecution.
She is obviously outraged, as am I. Essentially it seems like the U.S. Attorney is condoning this man's behavior...basically saying that it's not illegal to grope strange women. My friend was very upset when it happened. She described to me that she had a very strong emotional response that she can't explain, a response which included shaking, crying and what she thinks might be shock.
So, she contacted a lawyer friend about how to make this guy face some sort of music for his actions. The lawyer friend told her that she can write a letter to any U.S. Attorney in the country (as they all have prosecutorial jurisdiction) and see if any of them will prosecute. She plans to write a letter to every U.S. Attorney on the flight path, and if that doesn't work to write to every one in the country. Her lawyer friend also told her that she could file a lawsuit against him.
The thing is, she doesn't really believe in suing people. She's told me that she thinks Americans are too quick to sue for money if they feel even a little, itty-bit wronged. So, she's leaning toward not wanting to sue. However, she has said that she refuses to let him get away with this with no repercussions whatsoever.
Any advice for her?
Doctors
Why aren’t all the doctors called doctor? Why is it only medical doctor, shrinks, researchers and teachers? What about the pharmacists and lawyers? I mean, if you go through all the trouble to get a doctorate, shouldn’t you get the honor of being called doctor? If John Smith is a lawyer, then he’s called Mr. Smith. But Mr. Smith has a doctorate in Jurisprudence, so shouldn’t he be Dr. Smith? If John Smith is a pharmacist, then most people don’t even know that he’s got a doctorate in Pharmacy. Most people probably think pharmacy is some sort of technical program (there are pharmacy techs, which are a lot different). Shouldn’t we be calling our pharmacists Dr. Smith?
By the way, I just found out that Dr. Laura isn’t a shrink, like I thought she was. She’s a physiologist. She is licensed to do counseling, but not at a doctorate level because she doesn’t have her doctorate in psychology or psychiatry. Surprising...
Inspired
I read an article in the paper recently about whether or not to take vending machines out of schools. There were surprisingly more vending machine defenders than opposers, it seemed. The main argument was that children need to learn to make good choices. Funny, I thought children needed to be taught by example to make good choices.
You know, when I was growing up, I can remember many a Saturday when my mother threw us all outside and refused to let us in for anything other than a drink or the restroom. We had to play outside. We weren't allowed to watch TV for 8 hours on a Saturday. She never bought chips, candy, or pop. Our snacks weren't always perfectly healthy, but they sure weren't processed. We weren't allowed TVs in our bedrooms, and the only way we got away with spending a day holed up indoors was if we were reading a book.We were all required to join sports. Not forced to continue, but required to give it a try.
Guess what? I wasn't overweight. Was I jealous of my friends with TVs in their bedrooms and potato chips after school? Of course. I felt totally deprived, but my mother knew that her primary job was to make healthy decisions for her children, whether they liked it or not.
To this day, I don't really drink pop or keep junk food in my home. I'm not in the habit of doing so. And when I have children, I'll kick them out for hours at a time like my mother did. I'll make them try out the swim team, the soccer team, the basketball team, the volleyball team, jazz, ballet and martial arts like we did. I'll make them complete a full season, and then if they don't like it, they don't have to participate next year. If they're like me and my brothers, though, they'll continue participating in sports all through their childhood.
I understand that fat kids aren't all due to poor parenting. I know that there are plenty of fat kids, like my little brother, who was raised by parents who made good choices for their children. So, I'm not condemning fat kids. I am saying that I think it's important for children to be parented, and not placated. I'm sure that my mother felt awful when we threw fits and told her we hated her for making us do stuff; fortunately for us, she didn't give in.
Mom: "Okay, you can watch that movie tonight, but you have to play outside until it starts."
Us: "Mom, that's in five hours. What are we supposed to do for five hours outside?"
Mom: "I don't know. Find something."
Us: "But MOM I want to play Super Mario Brothers!"
Door closing in our faces.
An hour later.
Us: "We have to go to the bathroom and we're thirsty."
Door opens.
Mom: "Okay, would you like water or water?"
Us: "We'd like pop."
Mom: "We don't have pop."
Us: "Okay, Kool Ade."
Mom: "No, it's water or water."
Us: "But MOM we don't like water!"
Mom: "Then go thirsty."
Us: "Fine, we'll have water. We're hungry, too."
Mom: "What would you like?"
Us: "Nacho Doritos."
Mom: "No. How about an apple?"
Us: "How about a cookie?"
Mom: "How about you don't eat until dinner?"
Us: "Fine, a glass of water and an apple. You're the meanest mom we know."
Several hours later.
Mom: "Come on in, dinner's ready!"
Us: "Yay!"
Dinner gets eaten.
Us: "Can we have seconds?"
Mom: "If you're still hungry in half an hour you can have another plate. Why don't you go watch that movie you wanted to see?"
Us: "What's for dessert?"
Mom: "Ask me on Sunday, because we only have dessert on Sunday."
Us: "We hate you. You're mean!"
Mom: "Then find another mom."
The next morning.
Mom: "Who wants breakfast?"
Us: "We do, we do! Cereal and chocolate milk, please!"
Mom brings out her one indulgence, sugary cereal, and glasses of chocolatey milk.
Us: "This isn't chocolate milk, this is Ovaltine!"
Mom has a poem hanging on the wall in her kitchen that I think sums this parenting style up pretty well. It is "How To Be A Mean Mother":
A mean mother never allows candy or snacks to take the place of a well balanced meal.
A mean mother insists on knowing where her children are at all times, who their friends are and what they do.
A mean mother breaks the child labor law by making her children work..
Washing dishes, making beds, learning to cook, and doing other cruel and unpleasant chores.
A mean mother makes life miserable for her offspring by insisting that they always tell thetruth. A mean mother produces teenagers who are wiser and more sensible.
A mean mother can smile with secret delight and pride when she hears her own grandchildren call their parents "mean".
What the world needs now, are more mean mothers.. and fathers!...
My Weekend in Prison
I like to fly. I'm having a busy work travel week. I'm going to both Detroit and Norfolk on Tuesday. You know, one of those leave before the sun, spend a few hours in Detroit, fly out to Norfolk, spend a few hours, and get home just before bedtime. Yay. At least I get to pay for my own meals, and be reimbursed in two months. Stupid nonprofit.
I'd just like to say curses on Badtouch. We were in Lawrence on Friday night to hang, and he introduced us to the most delicious prime rib French dip sandwich ever made, courtesy of the Lawrence location of 75th Street Brewery. I seriously went to bed thinking about it's yumminess that night. Tonight, Eric and I were thinking so much about that sandwich that we drove 30 minutes to 75th & Wornall to get that sandwich. Oh, and it was so yum. Seriously, if you're ever in/or near Lawrence or the Waldo area of KCMO, go to 75th Street Brewery and eat that sandwich. Even if you're a vegetarian. Soy's not as good for you as you think, anyway.
Speaking of soy...I'm the first one to agree that red meat is not fantastic for you. We've cut it down to once a week or less. I also firmly believe that a little bit of red meat is very good for you. Now, my best friend in the world is a vegetarian. She does it for a great reason; she doesn't approve of the way animals are treated. I can't blame the girl for that, and if I was a better and richer person I would probably go organic and cut out meat, too. However, I also know that there are people who think that it's HORRIBLY TERRIBLY AWFULLY unhealthy not to be a vegetarian. They think that they are SO MUCH healthier than people who eat meat. Now, these people I don't care for, and something very interesting has been presented in the news lately that makes me want to go up to all these tofu freaks and say HA! I told you so!
Soy is not that good for you. It's not bad for you, but unlike what certain high and mighty vegan acquaintances have told me, it's not good for you either. It doesn't help your heart. So ha! Scoff if you will as you eat your tofu burger and I drink my glass of red wine. At least I'm doing something that's good for me!
No Tomatoes For You!!
There is a tomato shortage, and it is already affecting your life.
I’m being serious.
Hurricane Katrina did a number on our nation’s tomato farms (I guess there are tomato farms…), and we are now in a TOMATO CRISIS. Things have gotten so bad that Wendy’s is no longer putting tomatoes on their sandwiches. If you want a tomato, you have to ask for it.
Now, I haven’t really checked at my local grocery store since finding out about the TOMATO CRISIS. I wonder if the price of ketchup catsup will go up? I wonder if there are no tomatoes in my grocery store? Or what if tomatoes are now like $10 a pound?
So, be warned. There is a serious TOMATO CRISIS hitting our nation, and you need to prepare for it.
Things That Are None Of My Business And I Don’t Really Know The Truth About But I Am Judgemental So I Will Talk About
I normally don’t talk about celebrity crap, because celebrities annoy me. I’m sure they annoy most people too. I’m annoyed that they complain about having their pictures taken. I’m annoyed that they complain about anything when they make as much money as they do. I’m annoyed at the ones who are famous for being famous. I’m annoyed that marriage is flippant with them. I’m annoyed that they have award shows so that they can recognize how great they think they are. I’m annoyed that I can’t stop reading about them. I’m annoyed at a lot more things about them, but I won’t go on.
Right now I’m really annoyed at Angelina Jolie. I used to be really in to her. I always said that if there was any girl I’d sleep with, it’d be her. I’m straight, but I used to be attracted to her. I used to think that she was stunningly beautiful, and extraordinarily sexy.
Now I think she’s just a hoe bag.
My attraction to her started to wane around the making-out-with-her-brother/tattoos/Billy Bob Thornton era. She started to seem way too weird, and that made her less sexy to me. I mean, kissing your own brother passionately? Thinking about it with my brother makes me gag. Wearing blood around your neck? Ruining that amazing body with ugly tattoos? I found myself less wanting to have sex with her and more wanting to take a shower when I thought about standing near her. But still, she was so hot in Tomb Raider…
Then comes this Brad Pitt thing. Don’t get me wrong; I think Brad Pitt is a hoe bag in this situation, too, but I’m not talking about him right now.
Maybe I’m just some pissed off chick who has been cheated on several times and has a complex about it, but Angelina’s relationship with Brad annoys me to no end. Some people say that you can’t help who you’re attracted to, and I’d have to agree with that. But you can prevent yourself from developing feelings for someone who is married, attraction beside the point. It’s simple: you don’t spend any more time with them than professionally necessary. If you still get the hots for said married person, then ignore them. Why? Because like or not, that person is married. This is not just someone’s boyfriend. This is someone who has bound themselves to another person from sharing a bathroom to the eyes of God.
I feel it my duty to acknowledge to myself that I have gone from wanting to do Angelina to wanting to punch Angelina. I’m no longer a fan. I don’t want to see her movies, I don’t feel happy for her pregnancy, and I don’t think she’s a good person for her charity work. I think she’s a hoe bag.
I’m also annoyed with her media coverage. It’s all Angelina and Brad this, Angelina and Brad that. How painful must that be for their families and EX-WIFE. Not only did Jennifer Aniston get dumped by her husband, it’s rubbed in her face how wonderful they are: Oh, look at the new golden couple! Isn’t that great, they go to Africa and adopt babies and do charity work! Isn’t that great, they’re pregnant. If I ran the media, it would be more like this: Oh, look at the slut bag adulterers! Isn’t that pathetic, they’re trying to make up for their moral ineptitude by traveling to Africa and adopting babies. How trashy, they’re pregnant!
Okay, okay. It seems like I’m taking this personally, and maybe I am. I’ll stop my rant now.
End.
Car Repair Woes
Ah, the sweet feeling of a freshly repaired car. Isn’t it wonderful to finally fix that thing that’s been wrong with your car…to feel the wheel beneath your hands without the thump-thump-thump and the screech-screech-screech…
My front wheels have been causing problems for a while. When they first started to get yucky, I was given a quote around $800. I decided that I would fix things a little at a time, so I authorized a $250 repair and decided to keep the rest for later. The mechanic assured me that my car would not be a danger any time soon. He said that I could drive it for a month or two before I had to get it fixed.
So finally the time did come when I had to get the car fixed. I was afraid to take it on the highway anymore, and when I did I didn’t go over 55-60 because of the vibration and noise. I know, I know. I should have taken care of it before it got to that point. Well, I didn’t, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it now.
I needed to get the wheel bearings replaced. I took my car to be fixed on Saturday, with the assurance that it would be an easy process.
On Sunday, I received a phone call that the work would be done that day. Whoopee! This was good news, because rarely in my life are things uncomplicated. Especially with cars. If something on my car breaks, it’s usually big. Engine block big. So, while wheel bearings are hideously expensive to replace, I was relieved that it wasn’t a big ordeal.
Later on Sunday, I received the bad news phone call. It turns out that my little foreign car has a quite unique wheel configuration. Instead of just popping off the wheel bearings as expected (because apparently that’s the way it is in normal cars), they had to remove everything, brakes included, to get at it. And, once they got in there, they discovered that my wheel bearings don’t pop off at all. They must, quite unusually, be sawed off with a machine. And, to make things all the better, another mechanic must be called in because this is a fairly rare machine.
Yay.
I was told that I would not have my car back now for several days. Not a problem for Monday, because even on Sunday I knew I was going to be too sick to go in. Tuesday, however, posed a problem. Luckily, my wonderful boyfriend gave me a ride to work. While at work, I was informed that my car could be picked up that evening. I was told that the mechanic had checked out the entire wheel/front end of my car, and everything was in perfect order. He estimated that sans brake pads, which can go often, I should get 75,000-80,000 miles out of the current parts. So, my brother came to pick me up from work that evening to take me to get my car.
It was fantastic. After a couple months of driving a defunct car, my car rode as smoothly as it did four years ago when I bought it new. I was elated. I pulled my little newly perfect car onto the highway and went 70 mph. It was great. No shaking, no vibrating, no noise. Everything was fantastic, until…
Grrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddddd. Driving straight forward, I heard a grind. Turning the wheel either direction, I heard a big grind. Using the brakes, it was an awfully huge grind.
“Well, Jen,” I thought to myself, “Perhaps this will go away. This is probably just the sound that the new parts make until they get worn in.”
Delusion is divine, but it does not work. This morning I still have a horrible grinding, like when the brakes go out and it’s just metal on metal. Ick. It hurts my ears. So, tomorrow evening I am off to the mechanic's again with my poor little car.
Sigh.
Tuesday Highlights
This has been a good week, so far. My car's been fixed, so it's no longer a road hazard. I just found out I'm taking a work trip to Virginia Beach in the very near future. I stayed home from work yesterday, and even though it was because I was legitimately sick, it was still a day home from work. This coming weekend is a three-day weekend. Badtouch has his family cabin at the lake this month, and has invited us to come next weekend. It's snowing and wintery today. All of these are good things.
I have one of those bugs that keep you from feeling hungry. I started to get sick on Friday, and by Sunday I was laid out on the couch deathly ill. Yesterday was better, but still awful. Today I'm back at work, and feeling 75% better. The only thing is, it's Tuesday and I haven't eaten since Saturday. I mean, I've had tons of juice, and last night Shanshu made me drink tomato soup. It's just that between cold meds and gunk in my tummy, I just don't want to eat. I know I have to, hence the tomato soup, but I don't want to. I really hope I get my appetite back before I die of starvation.
On kind of a downer note, Shan has succumbed to my disease. He's sick today, but at work. If it hits him like it hit me, he won't be moving off the couch for a couple of days. Poor Shanshu!
I want winter now. I am a little bit tired of this mild weather. In the 50s in January? That's crap. I want my ice and snow and clustery conditions. Shan got me very nice leather gloves for Christmas that apparently I'm not going to get to wear.
I think I'm going to take a trip by bus. By bus, you say? Why in the world would one do this rather than just fly like normal people? Well, first of all, I'm going between Kansas City and Denver. Apparently NO ONE travels between Kansas City and Denver, because transportation options are severely limited. Normally I would just drive, since it's only about 8 hours or so. However, I am going to Denver to stay with my bestest friend for a couple of days, and then meeting Shan and some friends in Boulder for a few days. I'm hitching home with them.
I could fly, but since it's not a popular route, it's expensive. Like, might as well fly to Europe expensive. Seriously, it's only like $100 less than flying to London. I rent a car and drive, but a one-way rental is $200 more expensive than a round trip rental. At that point it's pricier than flying, even without gas. I could also take a train, but Amtrack doesn't run between KC and Denver. I'd have to go through New Mexico, which is hundreds of miles out of the way and would mean a 24-36 hour train ride.
So I'm going to bus it. It's only 10 hours, and it's only $55. I've bussed recently. When Shan and I were in England, we had to bus to lots of places because the train didn't run there. I don't remember it being that bad, at all. I just hope the bus isn't full of smelly poor people. (That was a joke!)
